Denise Spinney, MBACP: food for thought

You knew it was coming. Months of planning went into it. Choosing, visiting, waiting, packing, registering. Leaving.  Leaving. Years really.  You dig deep to find the best you you can - not too clingy, not too distant. Appropriately helpful without being controlling. Cheery, hopeful, upbeat. All goes well right until the end when you hug your goodbye and it all suddenly gets real.  How is this happening? When did he get so tall? So grown up? You feel suddenly small. There’s a warning tug in your gut and your mask crumples. Tears sting at your eyes. You hug a little tighter, just for a moment, just in case… And then he’s gone, a little uncertainly, towards the Welcome Zone. A last look, just to be sure, then you walk back to the car, step in and it’s over. The door closes and it’s suddenly quiet.  The journey home is a hazy memory. Amazing what you can do on auto pilot. You get home and have a conversation that goes something like this:  “How d...

Do you struggle to manage your busy life? Do you feel you have to account for your time to your employer, your wife/husband, even your friends? Is it not enough to be good enough: you have to be a passionate, driven worker, going the extra mile, exceeding expectations; or a super-parent providing structured activities for your children, a sparkling home and food that will nourish and delight the family? With friends you may airbrush the reality of your life to present your best self: groomed, bright eyed, happy, successful. It’s exhausting. Social media reassures you that everyone feels the same, but they seem to manage better than you. The current self-help trend  encourages us to practice ‘mindfulness’. Mindfulness. Sounds great, doesn’t it? Relaxing, calming, de-stressing. Mindfulness might be just the thing. Most of the people I see experience some degree of anxiety that disrupts their daily lives. They crave a calm mind and whilst mindfulness appears to offer just...